I failed… I am reading my last post and I am sat here chuckling to myself! I LOVE the optimism that I had but oh my god was I making things hard for myself!
October 6th was when I wrote the last post explaining that I was putting myself on a Keto journey, so technically I should be 1 month and 1 day into this now. HAHAHAHA! Definitely not. After 6 days of a Keto diet I packed it in. I felt so light headed and miserable and I had no energy whatsoever. It was such a struggle to get through the day at work because around 3pm I was hit with the worst migraine and the NEED to nap. Continuing with the Keto diet was just not worth it to me, I started it because as mentioned I was in a very ‘bleurgh’ place and I thought it could be a positive journey but for me it just was not. I came on my period as well for 2 days and the lead up to this I felt like I had been hit by a bus, the fatigue and aches did not help my motivation for persevering. I know with many things that you have to persevere to reap the benefits but I did not have any willpower.
For me the Keto diet was not just restricting myself to 20g-30g of Carbs a day but it was also a mental war. The mental energy that was zapped from me was too much. I constantly had to think about how many grams of Carbs and Protein and Fat I was consuming and this just did not work for me. “Fail to prepare… prepare to fail” could not be more appropriate in this instance, you really need sufficient time to prep all of your meals to reduce this thinking process and for me I lack the time to do this in my week. I value time with my boyfriend, friends and family over chopping veggies and meal prep in the kitchen.
I go to Dubai in 4 months and I began to put pressure on myself to lose weight, tone up, eat healthier but in all honesty, what is the point of doing this if I am stressing myself out and am not happy? This just does not work for me – looking back in the past, the times where I have lost weight, is where I have just not been thinking about it too much. Yes I was eating healthy and exercising but I wasn’t so obsessed with it. Day 6 of my supposed Keto diet, I ate a Weetabix because I felt so faint, and I gave myself such a hard time because 1 Weetabix biscuit contains 25.7g of Carbohydrates, almost 1 day’s allowance. I don’t like it when my mind goes like that … Dear Lord it’s only a Weetabix!!
I am lucky because I am not one of those people that dread the gym, I go most mornings before work, it changes my mindset for the day and it makes me feel good so trying to force myself to then go AGAIN after work was pure h e l l. Why was I trying to turn something that I love into something I dreaded? 1 workout a day is enough surely! I might have had a shot if I was going straight from work and my gym was down the road but after waiting for delayed trains to turn up and being on a train crammed against other people like some sardines for 40 minutes, the gym is the last thing I want to do!
Looking at my list of mini resolutions, I have actually upped my sleep. I really have felt so tired recently and I really feel like I need my sleep, I am struggling to wake up in the mornings, so early nights haven’t been hard to implement, I get to 9pm and my eyes need toothpicks to stay open, such a party pooper at the moment!
Overall I need to learn not to be so hard on myself and not to set myself ridiculous goals that I know I am just not going to achieve. I am going to continue to eat intuitively and exercising how I am, I need to listen to my body and not put strain on it by introducing a diet that is just not for me and does not fit into my weekly routine.
I do need a change in my life because I am still not feeling my best and I need some excitement and focus on something. I find it fascinating that when I feel like I need a change my diet and exercise routine are the first things to get altered and are what I associate with change. Maybe I need to start a new project or look for a new job… we will see!