I honestly feel like I may be having a heart attack. My anxiety has been that bad over the past couple of days.
Today is the 4th day I am suffering with lots of worry, an extremely fast heart rate and a tight chest. I’m not sure how much longer my body can cope with this.
My anxiety is definitely at its all time peak and I am knowingly having to take myself aside and calm myself down. I have been finding that the app Buddhify has been extremely helpful, in calming down my breathing and heart rate. There are so many options of meditation and controlled breathing exercises, so even if I am at work, I can take myself off for a few minutes so that nobody sees I have gone missing.
I’m not particularly sure what has triggered this surge of anxiety, I think I have got to a point where life has caught up with me and I am really worrying about the future. Will my money troubles stop me from getting a mortgage? Am in the right job for me? Will my hard work ever pay off? What if I miss an opportunity because I am in the wrong place that day?
I do remind myself that there is so much more to life to spend precious time that I will never get back to worry about the above but I do believe you need to have a balance of reality and positivity. I try and brush my troubles and worries aside and tell myself that life is too short and look at lovely quotes on Instagram and Pinterest and try and kid myself that reading those will make everything ok…but in reality that really isn’t going to solve my problems, or debt issues! I need to face these and solve them.. and THEN believe that life is too short and start living.
I think I may have even solved my question by writing this post… Having this realisation four days ago triggered my anxiety. I just need to learn to cope with it.
Life is definitely a journey and each year I can say I do learn so much about myself, but the more I learn the more I look back and think.. what were you doing Charlotte! I want to scream at myself, I wish I could go back and change things.. but I can’t.
So time to get on with it I suppose!